God Makes an Omelet
Morning has broken.
First me, then you, then the country
strewn left and right, spoiled
Overcoming the Dreaded Writer's Block
Maybe if I couldn’t go over it, I could go around it? Surely it couldn’t be that long of a walk. All alone, I set off on the trek to find the edge of the Block with just my walking stick and my lack of thoughts (this is why I was over here after all). I kicked at a couple rocks as I trudged over the dismal landscape that was mostly gray and gloomy. Dirt and other sand-like material made up the terrain behind the Block and it perfectly reflected what every writer felt: self-doubting, unworthy, and lost.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | The Matrix 4
Keanu – And fight in slow motion, do that backwards arm thingie where I dodge bullets?
Lana – We’ll do all the cool stuff, of course, and try to find some new ways for you to dodge bullets or rockets or whatever. And even more guns. Guns are popular these days.
Carrie-Ann – Okay. So, let’s say Trinity is somehow still alive, even though she died, what am I going to wear?
Lana – Same outfits for everyone. Lots of tight black leather. Don’t worry, CGI does incredible things these days.
Chris Churchill Saves the World | The Right to Be Ignored
Here in America, we have a lot of rights written into the Constitution. You can own bear arms. Your church can speak to the media. The media can speak about church. You can bring your own snacks into the movies. It’s all in there.
There are also basic human rights that don’t always make it into the founding documents of any particular nation. Controlling your own body. Having a good quality of life. Bringing your own snacks into a hospital.
There’s one right that I don’t hear enough people talking about.
Here’s another one I never hear people talking about: The right to be left alone. The right to be completely ignored.
![I Believe... [Bill Hader Deep Fake]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1565883619015-XKFAK0N8E1RT18SUG4WL/public.jpeg)
I Believe... [Bill Hader Deep Fake]
…that the deep fake of Bill Hader transforming back and forth into Tom Cruise is so fucked up I now think I believe in the power of Satan.
How To Hide A Body In Illinois
In this novel excerpt from “The Lyrebird Threat,” the Mimic works against the clock to carry out her sinister and bloody revenge.
The News and My Feelings
I know the news is not about my feelings.
A Woke Warrior Walks Into a Bar…
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 11, 2019
If I am to die shrouded in suspected criminal activity, promise me you’ll refer to me by my three names and only by my three names. “David Isaac Himmel, the alleged political assassin and box wine bootlegger, spent time as a teenager in the Ozark Mountains hunting squirrel and shooting old Pepsi cans with a .30-30 muzzleloader. He was also really good at driving stick shift in San Francisco.”
Additions to Sam Johnson's Dictionary
fetal supremacist (n.): A person who simultaneously advocates to curb abortions and abolish food stamps. i.e. The fetal supremacist wanted to revoke citizenship for children born in border states.
Humans are Inherently Good
I truly believe now that we are all inherently good and are trying our best. We may fail a lot. But we really are good.
Exhibit A: Love. Love, actually, is all around. With few exceptions, we inherently love our families and our friends.
Exhibit B: Look around you. Look how many people are currently not murdering someone.
That’s good. High five, all of you.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Archangel Alliance Committee on Human Affairs
Asking people to see their halos creates a hostile environment.
Humans are Scum
I cannot express how excited I am. Because over the past couple weeks since I was assigned this topic, I’ve been overwhelmed by this deep, dark despair. But in the next few minutes, I get to unload it all onto you, and then I can resume the carefree complacency to which I’ve grown accustomed.
You. People. Suck.
It’s true and you all know it and here are seven reasons why.
Tips from The Universal Household Assistant | Forcing the Beard—liquid for.—
Then I realize that even if I’m right, hearing that you are an emotional seven-year-old while you’re sitting in the Social Security waiting room might not be very helpful. Because growing up is hard enough when you’re a kid. How are you supposed to start when you’re already an adult?
![I Believe... [Video Games do not Cause Terrorism]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1565397323567-A3VPFXTLYMTKL26ODVSL/2E3E5542-C1CC-4BA8-97A9-3DF8B40C9A88.png)
I Believe... [Video Games do not Cause Terrorism]
…that blaming video games and movies on mass shooters is like blaming the election of Donald Trump on the Russians.
5 Short Poems
The Time Aaron's Roommate Murdered His Date
An excerpt from the newly released novel, “The Lyrebird Threat” out on Amazon.com, describing in full detail the exact events that revealed to Aaron his roommate is an operative for a secret sub-branch of government. Not an ideal date, but it could have gone worse.
Chris Churchill Saves the World | Parables for Terrible Times
There once was a kid running home from school, trying to get to the safety and comfort of his home toilet. He realized he wouldn’t make it. A glowing orb granted him permission to shit on the ground.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 4, 2019
Perception is not reality. Something that’s unfun for one person does not make it unfun for everyone. It doesn’t take a village, it takes enough people in that village.
Even the good insurgencies, over time, become the establishment.
Feeling Low? Visit a Bookstore or Attend a Funeral
The bookstore is a perfect rescue vessel because it gets me out of the house, puts me face-to-face with the common unwashed I have managed to loathe almost as much as I’d been loathing myself, and doesn’t lead me to further self-destruction through vices of solitude like having a drink or seventeen at a corner tavern. Once there, my regret and hope squirt out of my pores like a well-hardened blackhead from my nose. And for me, when my regret and hope get together, that’s when solutions, inspiration, and energy are made.
How do you want to be defined? By one action? By some opinion that could evolve? By a mistake, regrettable only with hindsight? Or by the sum of your parts? Okay, do that for other people. Start the trend.