The Social Worker
I got a call. I needed to go to a home. A redneck case. Trailer trash in an apartment. Truancy issue with a 6th grader, as if showing up to school was going to change his future.
The Sax
Lewis and Fredo
I got it. It was now my move. Should I succumb to his demand? It was a dark, wind whipped subzero ominous god-forsaken Chicago blizzard.
The Storytellers
It was a long signal and we were silent for a beat. Just enough time for my gaze to drift for no reason at all, over the door down to the blacktop where a female praying mantis lay crushed and paved over.
At The House of the Convalescent Muses
We take our meals in the greenhouse at the long bench. Tonight marks the end of a lot of work and we are very happy to have a ceiling of stars. The high curved windows are tinted with a twinge of blue and all stars light filtering down twinkle a precious indigo. High and bright lights accompany the food, which has come with beer, and is greasy. We must be growing firmer if the fare is like this.
Hope Idiotic | Part 44
And there’s the biggest difference between us, Michelle. There’s the difference that should have kept us from maybe ever even becoming friends to begin with. Hope doesn’t mean anything. Hope is what people have or do when they can’t have or do anything else. Hope is inaction. It’s sitting back and just waiting for what you want to come. It’s hoping for everything to work out. It’s what we have when we feel we have nothing else. I don’t ever want to hope. I want to have. I want to try. And I’m okay if I fail. Hope won’t get anyone a goddamn thing. It never has, and it never will.”
Hope Idiotic | Part 43
A year had passed since Chuck died. I had quit Tigris and put my dusty PhD to good use as an adjunct professor at Nevada State University where I taught uninterested twenty-somethings the finer points of Beowulf and the Epic of Gilgamesh. The schedule allowed me to work on my novel, and the pay was enough that any freelancing I did was out of choice, rather than need. My nights were void of death-metal concerts, replaced by bath time with my boys.
Hope Idiotic | Part 42
We spend our lives surrounding ourselves with the right people and the right job and right amount of shit to call our own. Life is a puzzle. We gather the pieces and put each one in place, and when we can finally make out the picture, we’re complete. But then a piece is taken away or lost. People die. Friends become strangers, lovers lie. At best, we can still make out the picture, but it’s clear something is missing. And those pieces can never be replaced.
I Believe… [The Ladder of Secular Religiosity]
I believe… that if you believe it is the System fueled by Evil Other People that is the cause for your lousy lot in life you have started on the first rung of the Ladder of Secular Religiosity. Until you realize the System is you and your myriad of interconnected choices, get ready for the zealotry ride of your life.
Lotusland
"Saw a car accident there in meditation today." She pointed at an indeterminate northeast locale below. Nodding up at me in the pause as if I didn't believe her. "That's right, over coffee. I always stand right where you're standing for about fifteen minutes each morning while I break off a piece of the hottest joe I can possibly do, watching an interminably slow rush hour. The frustration is… transporting.“
Ben Ridley is a Killer
A novel excerpt from the newly released “The Lyrebird Threat,” Ben Ridley returns from an assignment and gives a small window into the madness that haunts him.
Noble X — Episode 23: Crisis & The Blue Cloud
John hears his father’s foot falls on the landing and he floats from semi-consciousness to fully aware, gaping at the gigantic mess he has made, one his dad would discover any minute.
Noble X — Episode 22: Please Take Me Home
The mixture of things that seem like a healthy everyday John and manic Johnny 5 is making Thomas’ head spin. Thomas keeps thinking “John needs to go to the hospital to talk with some professionals," and in the same moment, “He seems kind of ok. Is the hospital really necessary?” Thoughts of doubt dance through his head as he drives John to his parents.
Noble X — Episode 21: Bundles of Love
At the end of his statement, he ends the call abruptly and gets back to work on his bundles of love while Ms. Carlin and the others sit in the thick quiet before a school day begins, trying to shake their nasty intuitions that something is not at all right with Mr. Noble.
Noble X — Episode 20: Contemplating Surrender
They give him ibuprofen and try to get him to drink water. Paul lies in the kitchen on the cold linoleum floor, writhing in pain while John and Colin sit at the table, now both riding Paul’s emotional rollercoaster.
Noble X — Episode 19: The Guest of Honor
Paul is pissed about the Noble Experiment no longer resembling what his vision had been and his mind is filled with anger. The room quiets as he grapples with what he wants to say.
Noble X — Episode 18: Opening Ceremonies
“What the fuck is he doing?” Thomas grabs Anthony by the arm. Anthony shrugs and whispers, “It feels like performance art, maybe. Not sure.” Colin overhears and adds leaning in, “Let’s just keep an eye on him.” Surprisingly, nobody leaves. However uncomfortable they’ve been made at the start of this evening, they are all intrigued and intend to see how this plays out.
Noble X — Episode 17: Brothers
“Why are you driving with your hazards on?” Carefully merging into the flow of traffic, John states simply as if talking about the weather, “I am slightly a hazard right now. I know that I’m not well and I want to communicate non-verbally to the other drivers on the road that I am a hazard.”
Noble X - Episode 16: Hazards
He stands to admire the puzzle of misdirection he has laid. The blinking red light is subtle, set against the red canvas duffle. His eyes stare into the pulse and he ponders, “Is the blinking red a warning?”
Noble X — Episode 15: Dress Rehearsal
Colin and Anthony ask about all the new writing on the walls. “Is that permanent marker, dude? What does it mean?” and Thomas, while mostly silent, is visibly disturbed.
...that empathy is a limited and local resource. Expanding one’s desire to empathize with an increasing number of people spreads it thin like too little butter on too much bread.