![I Believe… [Too Much Absence]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1730684696431-9LG56F84KEH4VEPSQ13U/IMG_2287+2.JPG)
RNC WORKSHOP ON LEGITIMATE POLITICAL DISCOURSE
SOVENIRS! – Some call it looting, we call it keepsakes.
Questions About CDC Guidelines? We Have All the Wrong Answers
My information comes from a board-certified doctor that my cousin’s cousin’s cousin knows.
Awkward Encounter Between Insurrectionists and the Capitol Building at Starbucks on 1/7/21 – As Imagined by the GOP
The Capital Building is the Pirates of the Caribbean of Washington, D.C.
The Adventures of Aborted Andy | Episode I: Meeting Your Maker
Andy disassembled his weapon with lighting speed. He packed it away in the black backpack made specifically for a weapon of this sort. He bolted to the roof access door as fast as his little, chubby legs would carry him. He made his way through the condo/office building stairwell without being noticed just as he had done on his way up. Andy was good at his job. And for a nine-month-old baby, he was really good at it.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - White Anti-Defamation League
It ain’t racist if it’s the truth!
The Earth is Flat and Not Everyone Dies
Yes, lots of people have died. But we can’t say for certain that everyone dies because everyone hasn’t died. If someone lives long enough they could live forever.
People dying is just a tool of Big Death.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | South Texas Family Life Choices Legal Clinic
All I’m asking is that you consider other options. Think about it. Take your time. Come back in ten, fifteen years and tell me how you feel. You know, many people die from simple accidents or natural causes. If you wait, they might just die on their own.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Covington Catholic High School
Covington Catholic High School’s attempts at Diversity Outreach have been grossly misinterpreted by the media.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Things That Are Trying to Kill Me
Joe’s Penis – We’ve been friends ever since you spilled some shampoo on your junk when you were fourteen.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Baby Boomers Go Boom!
The whole country is going to change. Early Bird specials will just be “specials”.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Trump’s Biggly Funeral Plans
Then take my body and put me behind the wheel of a golf cart strapped to a rocket ship and have the Space Force blast me to the stars.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Emergency Meeting of the Ambien Marketing Department
Our hashtag #Ambien is trending. That hasn’t happened in forever. Even when the whole department did the ALS challenge while on Ambien.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - PCHS American Heroes Club
In 1942, John Wayne parachuted out of a B-52 Bomber over enemy territory while atop his horse. He landed on Normandy beach and killed 33 Nazis, 28 Japs, 14 Injuns, and 8 smelly Frenchmen. He mowed them all down armed with nothing but his bared teeth swinging a steel nut sack.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Buy War Bonds!
Grab ‘em by the stars and stripes. Support our troops! Let’s all fight! For freedom’s sake!
New Study — American Darwinism and the Narrowing Survival of the Dumbest
The speed at which the human species is evolving has led to a splinter effect leading to the discovery of four new sub-species of Homo sapiens: Homo dumbassness, Homo exploitus, Homo regressiveleftist, and Homo balanceintelligence. These four sub-species are in a battle of of evolutionary might yet unseen, and it is apparent through careful consideration and historically-based common sense that only one will survive by proving its adaptability and fitness for survival in these modern times.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - Poor People Meet to Get Out the Vote
COMMUNITY ORGANIZER - Look, there are way more poor people than rich people in this country. The rich people are controlling our government. We can vote for people who genuinely care about us. People who don’t own more than one house. People who remember what it is like to be poor and want to help.
HECKLER #1 - Help others? Sounds like commie talk.
Gentrification is a Progressive Boon
Think of how much better your life is with a neighborhood Target. You can get your clothes, your groceries, electronics and prescriptions filled all at one stop. You can’t do that at a small business shoe store or a bodega or a Radio Shack or a standalone pharmacy. And those smaller stores employ only a handful of people. Each Target employs hundreds. Sometimes those small stores are family owned and operated, so only one family makes the money. With Target, hundreds of families are able to earn money, in some cases with health benefits, too. This would not be possible without gentrification — without the renovation of a deteriorated neighborhood.
Boners! Boners! Boners!: America’s Unexpected Historical Hard-ons
With each revelation that another powerful and popular, often beloved, man has been accused of sexual harassment, we collectively exclaim, “No way! Come on!” and ask ourselves “Who’s next?” Eventually the shock wears off giving way to accusations that aren’t just gross and likely criminal, but also strangely pathetic.
And so, allow me to present to you, recent discoveries of sexual misconduct committed by some of our most treasured figures.
When Crowdfunding Resembles Opportunism or The Greed in Your Ask is Getting Obvious
I most recently joined the World of Crowdfunding with my new Patreon Campaign. I’m torn as, in general, I’ve seen far too many of these efforts resemble either a corrupt civil servant trying to raise money for bail or legal fees, someone desperately using it as a replacement for medical insurance, or Ian Belknap using GoFundMe to help pay for an office space so he doesn’t have to deal with his kids at home while churning out pedantic screeds on Faceborg.
Go ahead and Google “crowdfunding abuse” and the list is long and ugly.
The Perfect Feminist
I knew what I was getting into when I married Marie. She was a kindhearted woman—sweet as they came. A staunch NPR listener. The kind of NPR listener that actually gave money.