Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 2, 2021
Think about it: the Full House theme song is a cry to make America great again.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 25, 2021
The most uninteresting conversations in the English language will include the following statements: “The land value alone makes it a great investment,” “Cryptocurrency is the future of financial markets,” and “I went to summer camp.”
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 18, 2021
All those kids who identified as hippies in high school in the ’90s likely never had a revolutionary thought of their own. The most dangerous thing they did was listen to a Dave Matthews tape while speeding in their Jeep Cherokees.
Revisiting the Notes on the Columbine Shooting
When Eric and Dylan murdered twelve students and one teacher, we were shocked—just like the two angry killers wanted. They also wanted the day to be remembered forever. And it will be. Because the Columbine High School Massacre is like Elvis Presley. Nothing like it came before and every mass shooting since can’t help but draw inspiration from it.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | The Dumb Blue Line Edition
Of course Derek Chauvin didn’t take the stand. Derek Chauvin doesn’t stand for anything. He kneels.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 4, 2021
Former pig police officer turned murder defendant Derek Chauvin has been taking a lot of notes throughout the murder trial of George Floyd. I bet it’s just the N-word over and over and over again.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 28, 2021
Easter has been cancelled. They found the body.
Why We Gave Our Son Away
Parenthood requires sacrifice. Lots of it. A more optimistic person might say it’s not sacrifice but compromise, and to that I say they don’t know what they’re talking about. Over the last several years, my wife and I have been parents to a wonderful little human named Harrison. He’s intelligent, strong, funny, helpful, and kind. Most of the time anyway. He’s also a three-year-old toddler so he is also erratic, neurotic, sullen, mercurial, and violent. Why, just yesterday, he slapped me across the face after telling him I loved him. In a very tiny nutshell, that right there is parenthood. You give love, you get smacked in the face.
The Nine Circles of Offense
Offense is hell. It’s angering and frustrating and confusing and sometimes it feels eternal. Like the actual Hell, which is real because people who trust the Zombie God say so (happy Easter, by the way), there are a variety of meeting places for those who have been offended. And so, I present to you the Nine Circles of Offense. And if you’ve ever been offended, you’ll understandably recognize a few having visited that circle or circles before.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 21, 2021
If equity, equality, diversity, and inclusion infringe on your religious beliefs, you and your religion are wrong. Or, you’re an asshole.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 14, 2021
Feelings are your facts. Yours and yours alone. They are not hard evidence for anyone or anything except yourself. They do matter, just not with the kind of absolution you want them to have.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 7, 2021
The quickest way to become an asshole is to take yourself, your work, or your art too seriously.
The Mental Health Conditioning of WandaVision
WandaVision has ended. The ninth and final episode is currently streaming on Disney+. As of this writing, I have not watched it. But, boy am I excited to. I’ve been waiting since mid-January to watch this series finale. The slow burn of the whole thing with its clever clues and nerd-gasm Easter eggs… And what a wait it’s been.
Requiem for a Bartender
Steve ran the joint. Tending bar was the family business. His father, Tom, ran it the generation before mine. Steve and I became fast friends. That’s the bartender’s job, after all—to befriend their loyal patrons. But I was also young, boiling over with energy, and thirsty to learn the ways of drinking legally in public. Steve gave me, gave so many of us that arena.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 21, 2021
I get really happy when religious leaders do the right thing. A sign of this is often when the flock gets really upset at their leader.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 14, 2021
Poor white people love people like Trump because they’re two sides of the same coin. They both live completely sheltered lives and both believe the lie of American Exceptionalism. The wealthier side of the coin believes that they were born into that exceptionalism because they deserved it and the poorer side believes that one day, they, too will be exceptional.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of February 7, 2021
The joy I get from ironing is what I imagine heroin feels like.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 31, 2021
Marjorie Taylor Greene’s masks are to anti-Semites and racists as Judah Friedlander’s hats are to liberals and feminists.
The Tragic Genius of Dustin “Screech” Diamond
We all wanted to be Zack and Kelly. Maybe some of us wanted to be Slater or even Jessie. But we should have wanted to be Screech. Screech was the best of them all. They best of all of us. Screech was a progressive television character before we knew what that was supposed to be. And that is solely because of Dustin Diamond.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 24, 2021
Hedge fund managers are the real welfare queens and kings. But they’re way lazier.
How do you want to be defined? By one action? By some opinion that could evolve? By a mistake, regrettable only with hindsight? Or by the sum of your parts? Okay, do that for other people. Start the trend.