Featured

Nov 25, 2024

Don Hall

Nov 25, 2024

Don Hall

...that intense and deep aren’t the same thing even if you’ve convinced yourself they are. Intense is momentary and fleeting; deep is the result of time and energy.

Nov 25, 2024

Don Hall

Featured

Dec 16

Dec 16, 2024

BUGHOUSE!

Dec 16, 2024

It’s BACK! Chicago’s most entertaining debate show—Six debaters, three topics, the art of the dialectic!

Five bucks at the door (Cash or Venmo)

Haymarket Pub & Brewery, 737 W. Randolph (the corner of Randolph & Halsted)

Dec 16, 2024

ARCHIVE OF ARTICLES

Don Hall 1/8/22 Don Hall 1/8/22

The Opinion of the Intelligent

If your personal truth is only informed by your experiences in the world, without some attempt to triangulate and educate yourself, it is by the very definition, "the certainty of the ignorant."

Don Hall 1/3/22 Don Hall 1/3/22

I Believe... [Bristling Elites]

...that when Pulitzer prize winners and people with advanced degrees bristle at being called “elites” the Emperor’s codpiece just slipped off his huge, highly educated, monied cock.

Don Hall 1/2/22 Don Hall 1/2/22

Sauna Talk is a Lot Like Locker Room Talk

"Well, that's racist."

Nine sphincters tightened. Nine old, wrinkly, half-naked white men almost held nine sets of breath.

I looked him in the eye. "What about that is racist?"

Don Hall 12/30/21 Don Hall 12/30/21

The One 2022 Resolution For Us All

After two years of COVID, social justice demands, insurrectionists, the fact the Trump won't simply die from a goddamned McDonald's fueled heart attack, economic instability, cyber-attacks, droughts, floods, bizarre heat waves followed by epic snowstorms followed by massive wildfires and urban blacks beating up old Asian ladies on video, trying to find some sort of positive, self help path forward seems impossible.

Don Hall 12/27/21 Don Hall 12/27/21

I Believe… [Simple Resolve]

...that if anyone still does New Year’s resolutions, they should include the goals to mind their own business, place their anxiety into perspective, and maybe take a few walks a week. Keep it simple for 2022.

Don Hall 12/26/21 Don Hall 12/26/21

The Best of The Ape 2021 | Most Read, Best Stuff

2021 was an odd year for everyone, globally speaking.

Don Hall 12/25/21 Don Hall 12/25/21

Unforging Marley's Chain: Cracking the Life Code via Dickens

I don't see myself in Scrooge much—not wealthy or particularly skin-flinty with dough—and I'm not Republican in any way yet I'm finding a bit more appreciation for Bill Clinton-style centrism. For me, it's those fucking chains of Marley that give me pause.

Don Hall 12/22/21 Don Hall 12/22/21

The Word of 2021 was "Impatience"

We can’t escape the world but we can re-learn Patience and Self-Discipline.

Don Hall 12/20/21 Don Hall 12/20/21

I Believe... [Get Her the Combs Already]

...that you should read O. Henry’s The Gift of the Magi before Christmas Eve.

Don Hall 12/18/21 Don Hall 12/18/21

The Thought That Counts (Repost from 2016)

There are a couple of simple rules that I try to follow when participating in the ritual of gift-giving and receiving.

Don Hall 12/15/21 Don Hall 12/15/21

Starting Over After It All Goes Up in a COVID Smoke

“Everything I had built in the past 15 years just went up in smoke. It’s gone. I mean, what the fuck do I do now?”

Don Hall 12/14/21 Don Hall 12/14/21

I Like to Watch | Succession (HBO)

I hated it. I loved it. But I really hated it. I loved the score (especially the opening which I ended up watching every single episode because the music is so ridiculously Punch Drunk Love perfect). I hated every character, every scene, every moment.

Don Hall 12/13/21 Don Hall 12/13/21

I Believe... [Variant Snap]

...that the next strain of COVID will be known as the Thanos Variant.

Don Hall 12/11/21 Don Hall 12/11/21

How Many Confederate Statues Are There Left to Topple?

At last count there are roughly 1900 monuments and statues throughout the southern United States commemorating the Confederacy. In 2020, 200 had been taken down, demolished, or hidden from view.

I'm no mathematician but that seems to leave us with 1700 left.

Don Hall 12/9/21 Don Hall 12/9/21

On Smollett, BLM, and the Chicago Police Department

On the other hand, his statement regarding the corruption at the very heart of the Chicago Police Department is as blatantly true and obvious as Smollett's guilt.

Don Hall 12/6/21 Don Hall 12/6/21

I Believe... [No Body Positivity for Fat Dudes]

...that body positivity as a concept is exclusively for women because no one wants to claim big fat dudes are owning their best selves when they decide to become burlesque dancers as a therapeutic measure.

Don Hall 12/4/21 Don Hall 12/4/21

No One Remembers Being Twenty and Smart at the Same Time

The certainty of the ignorant weighs less than the opinion of the intelligent.

Don Hall 11/30/21 Don Hall 11/30/21

I Like to Watch | The Beatles Get Back (2021)

I won't likely sit through all eight hours again but I'm already dipping back in. It's like being in a room with four effortlessly talented musical legends and hoping they can get it together if only for the music's sake.

Don Hall 11/29/21 Don Hall 11/29/21

I Believe... [Enduring the Use of Masks]

...that the wave of organized groups smashing into high-end retail stores and stealing things would be just fine if they were wearing hashtag t-shirts aligning with a Utopian cause. At least they were wearing masks, though…

Don Hall 11/25/21 Don Hall 11/25/21

Finding Gratitude in a World That Only Wants Shame

"Well, Tim, I suppose that's your right to feel ashamed of yourself. It is not OK for you to decide that because you feel ashamed that everyone else has to feel it, too. Most of the class is thinking about what they are grateful for which isn't a terrible thing to do for one day a year."