Common Sense Propositions to Move Progress Forward
If one side of the lunatic class can agree with one and the other side of the rabid mouth-framers can agree with the other, we call that compromise. Common ground.
![I Believe... [To Don't List]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1679172097820-4K3UNM68IFF0F5NJC8IK/IMG_2022.JPG)
I Believe... [To Don't List]
...that sometimes, in lieu of a To-Do list which is based on accomplishing things within the day, a To-Don’t list might be as helpful in avoiding the things that defeat us in small but significant ways.
I Like to Watch | Oscars 95
What was different this time was I didn’t really care who won. For there to be a winner, there likewise must then be losers. Otherwise the prize has no meaning or value.
![I Believe... [Unimpressive]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1678707539924-G24EJVQ3XUS9FXANBTAR/IMG_1272.JPG)
I Believe... [Unimpressive]
...that a man who is no longer looking for a romantic partner and isn’t seeking out new friends is the most free he will ever be as he no longer has anyone he needs to impress.
Mistaken Ethnicity
My identity has been compromised. I can no longer legitimately call myself Irish. I’m fucking Welsh and I don’t even like rugby.
![I Believe... [Signed Copy, Plz]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1678038423746-UEAR4UX5RJ8DMGAG5L4V/IMG_2255.JPG)
I Believe... [Signed Copy, Plz]
...that the best reaction to the release of my latest book is “I’d like a signed copy. But not by you.”
The Hanging Out Conundrum
. In 1990, 63% of Americans reported having five or more close friends. In 2021, only 38% did. On an average day 20 years ago, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ Time Use Survey, 38% of Americans socialized or communicated with friends. By 2021, that number was down to 28%.
Straight from the Whore-says Mouth (Her Joke, Not Mine)
A "sad, revenge-porn-filled, revisionist history, bewilderingly judgmental, impotent kink-shame laden sloppy mess of a collection."
![I Believe... [Small Town Tenacity]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1677415484099-J29GAEU7QNAQ3Y2R1383/IMG_2541.JPG)
I Believe... [Small Town Tenacity]
...that there are few things in society as pernicious and unrelenting as a tiny rural town in pursuit of a traffic fine. If the IRS had these hayseeds in charge of cracking down on corporations and billionaires, there would be no American debt crisis.
Revision for Comfort? Safety? What the Fuck?
I'd hazard a guess that when, in lockstep with a specific worldview, an industry adopts the practices of an authoritarian regime it might signal some alarm klaxons.
![I Believe... [Potter Litmus]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1676835236867-GQP2MV33J6DWTI6F0RPW/IMG_2022.JPG)
I Believe... [Potter Litmus]
...that the new marker of whether or not I want to engage with someone is the answer to the question “So, what do you think of JK Rowling?”
My Cake is the True Cake Demands the Fanatic
It's a trick, like magic, that forces reevaluation of language, both what it means and how we use it. Given that most of us use language as a blunt instrument, it is an especially dangerous trick in the hands of yellow journalism, philosophers, and those seeking to influence the body politic.
![I Believe… [Age is the Number of Pounds Your Back Can Sustain]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1673796121111-HBGYP9INNJSMP4EQI438/IMG_2022.JPG)
I Believe… [Age is the Number of Pounds Your Back Can Sustain]
..that, while personally moving all my stuff to a seventh floor apartment by myself makes my dude brain feel all badass, my back would like to register an official complaint to HR.
“I Didn’t Marry a Prostitute…” The Perfect Anti-Valentine
On Valentine’s Day I’m launching my latest Literate Ape Press venture “I Didn’t Marry a Prostitute: A Sordid Tale of Deceit, Disillusionment, and Divorce” available through Amazon.
Let Them Eat Really Expensive Popcorn (and maybe some cake)
I’d pay an extra buck if the movie started on time without Noovie or ads. I like the previews but not ten minutes of them.
Please Harass Me (If This is What Harassment Looks Like)
I'm less certain the new-ish protocol is more respectful but it is definitely more careful and maybe that's enough. I've never really understood the catcalling type of guy but I'm not Italian.
![I Believe... [Adopting the Sexual Habits of Your Pets]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1675530160098-M6RL1HV2PBUKX1R93ZUH/IMG_2236.JPG)
I Believe... [Adopting the Sexual Habits of Your Pets]
...that ‘sex positive’ is just another way of excusing your neighbor’s chihuahua when he humps your leg incessantly.
Fifty-Seven Years and Still On My Feet
If you nearly drown wading in the ocean, is it better to learn to simply avoid the ocean in the future or learn to swim?
![I Believe... [Pol Pot Wasn't a Nazi]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1668960567066-5KXOJTYQF3A4KHGTGC2N/ibelieve9.PNG)
I Believe... [Pol Pot Wasn't a Nazi]
...that the claim that the five black officers charged with murdering another black man are agents of white supremacy is just goofy. As bad as Hitler was, you can’t pin the The Khmer Rouge on him.
Is Hashtag Activism a Failure?
These hashtag campaigns have absolutely created international awareness of the issues at hand but seem to have backfired in the implementation of change.
How do you want to be defined? By one action? By some opinion that could evolve? By a mistake, regrettable only with hindsight? Or by the sum of your parts? Okay, do that for other people. Start the trend.