Don Hall 9/10/18 Don Hall 9/10/18

I Believe… [The Positives of Trump]

…that if there is anything positive about the Trump presidency it is that all of a sudden, more of the citizenry is paying attention to the mechanics of governance and he's making every other president we've ever had look great.

Joe Janes 9/5/18 Joe Janes 9/5/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Citizens to Elect Rahm Emanuel – Now What?

We just put it in the bank until we’re ready to roll out negative Trump TV ads. Which is tricky, because we see them as negative, but his base applauds them.

Joe Janes 8/8/18 Joe Janes 8/8/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Q-Anon – The Great Aweakening

Q says Tom Hanks is a pedo. Tom Hanks! That explains the sex scene in Big. And the sex scene that got cut in Turner and Hooch.

Joe Janes 8/1/18 Joe Janes 8/1/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – The Religious Liberty Task Force

There are no atheist’s in a fox’s hole.

Don Hall 7/23/18 Don Hall 7/23/18

I Believe... [WOLVERINES!]

...that Patrick Swayze wouldn't put up with this Russia bullshit.

Joe Janes 7/4/18 Joe Janes 7/4/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - The Ottawa County Senior Community Center Forth of July Celebration

Well, we’re about to open the doors and let people in. I’m in charge of checking IDs and making sure everyone is from Ottawa County and a US citizen. If you ain’t from here, you’re not welcome. At The Ottawa County Senior Community Center, we’re all about the red, white and blue flag. This is America. Not Russia.

Kari Castor 6/30/18 Kari Castor 6/30/18

Do You Want Nazis? Because That's How You Get Nazis.

The next time some centrist idiot suggests that maybe I should just have some chill, I’m going to knock his fucking teeth in. I’m done. I have zero chill.

Don Hall 6/24/18 Don Hall 6/24/18

No One Masturbates to C-SPAN But Maybe They Should

Don Hall 5/28/18 Don Hall 5/28/18

I Believe… [Black Lives Matter But Not More Than Football]

...that the simple answer is to not watch the NFL anymore. Yes, that would require so many to give up spectating a sport that exemplifies almost everything wrong with Americans in general (except for the sloth part): male, domestic abusing, drug addicts beating the shit out of each other for points and million dollar salaries.

Don Hall 5/16/18 Don Hall 5/16/18

They Didn’t Vote For Trump. They Voted Against Us

Like me in high school, we aren’t learning that that smugness doesn’t win elections it merely makes us feel warm and fuzzy as if our ineffectual resistance will be noted by future historians as somehow significant when figuring out how to persuade those out in the world of real, flesh and bone humans separate from the avatars of the digital world that perhaps we might be able to work together for the better of everyone.

Contributing Writer 5/10/18 Contributing Writer 5/10/18

REPOST: American Shithole #3 — Partisans of Liberty

In honor of the late, great Ursula K. LeGuin, I present a bit of science fiction in lieu of the daily political grind, or perhaps this would qualify as high fantasy.

Contributing Writer 3/29/18 Contributing Writer 3/29/18

American Shithole #10 — Sports and Politics

Shared interest in a sports team is a great way for two disparate people to find common ground. In America, many fathers and sons have relied on this fact for more than a century. At the end of the day though, it’s still a bunch of folks playing bouncy ball, or batty ball, or kicky ball, or throw that ball, and I’m not going to make small talk about sports with you, just to save you the embarrassment of defending your shitty ideas about the current state of American politics.

Joe Janes 3/21/18 Joe Janes 3/21/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - Poor People Meet to Get Out the Vote

COMMUNITY ORGANIZER - Look, there are way more poor people than rich people in this country. The rich people are controlling our government. We can vote for people who genuinely care about us. People who don’t own more than one house. People who remember what it is like to be poor and want to help.

HECKLER #1 - Help others? Sounds like commie talk.

Contributing Writer 2/22/18 Contributing Writer 2/22/18

American Shithole #5 — Fuck You, NRA

So we will cheer as these brave children that have survived another horrific American school shooting, share impassioned pleas for sanity and meaningful action — even though we all fear their voices will fall on deaf republican ears. That nothing again will be done. Nothing that will have any effect, anyway. Certainly not with Trump in office. I am writing this as of Tuesday, a few days will pass before this posts, and their young, beautiful, powerful voices will fade into the background static as the news outlets are forced to focus on whatever new insanity emerges.

I would really, really, like to be wrong.

Don Hall 2/19/18 Don Hall 2/19/18

I Believe… [Trump is Us. Own It.]

…that anyone who uses social media to insult, shame, name call, posture and overtly self-promote is in no position to castigate Trump for it because you are playing from the exact same playbook as our Idiot Savant President. The biggest tragedy of the 2016 Election is that we finally elected someone just like us.

Don Hall 2/12/18 Don Hall 2/12/18

I Believe… [Age is Just a Number That Means You're Old]

…that when you say "Age is just a number" my feet and lower back wanna sock you repeatedly in the junk until you acknowledge that age is decay and decay is the ever approaching sound of mortality. Maybe lose the "just." "Age is a number" is more true and less damning of the fact I'm wearing bifocals.

Contributing Writer 2/8/18 Contributing Writer 2/8/18

American Shithole #3 — Partisans of Liberty

In honor of the late, great Ursula K. LeGuin, I present a bit of science fiction in lieu of the daily political grind, or perhaps this would qualify as high fantasy.

Don Hall 1/29/18 Don Hall 1/29/18

I Believe.. [Nikki Haley was Humping a Bag of Maggots]

…that the only must-see event that eclipses The Greatest Showman as revisionist make 'em up but hysterical historical fiction is the Trumpster's State of the Union Address on Tuesday. I'll be watching it with The Greatest Hits of the Tijuana Brass playing in the background.

Joe Janes 1/24/18 Joe Janes 1/24/18

The Minutes of Our Last Meeting – Building and Paying for the Wall

Me-hee-ko? They’ll pay. We’ll charge a cover charge at the border crossing. Or, even better, a membership fee! Want to enjoy the greatest country in the world? It’s going to cost you $100k a year. Love it. Call the Democrats! There’s your DACA! Now, seriously, leave.

Don Hall 1/15/18 Don Hall 1/15/18

I Believe… [If Only Trump Ended Sentences With "Meathead!"]

…that Donald Trump is like having Archie Bunker as president. Imagine the late Carroll O'Connor asking "Why would we want all these people from shithole countries when the United States should admit more people from places like Norway, Meathead." If fact, from now on, no matter what the TrumpsterFire says, I'm going to hear it in Bunker's voice and my life will be funnier.