...that polyamory is just white women gentrifying the gay man’s lifestyle and calling it something brunch-y.

...that, for me, the definition of willpower is to purchase a block of aged cheddar cheese and still have some of it left a week later. Small wins, gang, small wins.

...that each intelligent voter should focus on policies rather than personalities. The dumbasses will vote for their favorite wrestler.

...that the ever present fear of AI can only be overcome by Taylor Swift getting mad that after a billion photos of her online were manipulated to create fake porn. AI had no idea what a quagmire it entered on this one.

...that passion and art can be found anywhere as long as there are people willing to create things out of a sense of joy, curiosity, and obsession. Don’t believe me? Go to a car show in Central Kansas and talk to anyone who has spent years building out a pristine 1926 Ford Roadster.

...that the definition of what is and is not cool is pretty simple. Anyone desperately seeking popularity or approval? Not cool. Anyone disapproved by a lot of other people? Cool.

...that polyamory is simply people without the ability to commit to an arrangement more important than individual desire. The most polyamorous creature on the planet is a mutt that humps everything from other dogs to human legs to Amazon boxes.

...that, if Santa were actually real, he’d have a hard time wrapping both a Trump conviction and a Trump presidency for the population of the US. If he’s real, he might be able to pull it off, though.

...that anytime anyone demands you answer a ‘yes or no’ question, it’s a trap.

...that Elon Musk decided to destroy the thing he was forced to buy.

...that each of us will either wear out or rust from complacency and I’’m choosing to completely wear this body out like Charlie Parker minus the heroin.

...that adults who truly believe that words are violence were never slapped in the mouth for talking back or walloped with a belt for bullying their sibling.

A quick slice of life in 2023 America

...that the solution to most of our anxiety is to do something. Anything. Anxiety resides in the space of a fear of the unknown. Action solves that problem.

...that among the worst or best pick up lines for a potential date is “Hey. What’s your favorite dinosaur?”

...that, with all the identities being claimed in our modern age, we’re just celebrating Halloween every day of the year!

...that some plans should just be planned and executed rather than telegraphed to preserve the peace.

...that the moment when any rock singer barks out “C’mon!” before a massive guitar riff is the moment I say “OK! Fucking A! C’mon!”

...that we are our most profound when broken hearted.