![I Believe… [Permanent Desk Jockey]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1591016110513-P8JG5X1QV03PT3J5VORA/IMG_0693.jpeg)
I Believe… [Permanent Desk Jockey]
…that a police officer with a history of brutality complaints should, just like a domestic abuser, be legally prevented from carrying a deadly weapon of any kind. That officer should be permanently assigned to a desk job and not be allowed to work with the public in a person-to-person capacity.
Staged Conflict and the Downward Spiral of Communication
“Oh, I’m not trying to change your mind about anything.”
Then what the fuck are we doing here?
The Cereal Wish | Part 7
“Those motherfuckers—spying on me again,” I said.
“Who’s spying on you?” Sarah asked.
Stray Humans
Shockingly, I was placed on the ground outside. Outside! This had never happened before. My fear washed away and I was overwhelmed by the feel of grass, the way the light touched my skin. I stretched out into the dirt, face down, and breathed as though I’d never breathed before.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 24, 2020
You can trust a cop, but you’re a fool to trust the police.
The Cereal Wish | Part 6
Sarah was gone. All that was in the hall was a big box full of boxes of Product 19 on its side. I hate Product 19, but she wants me to eat it because it’s healthy. She must have bought it to make up for forgetting the cereal. “How is this my wish?” The genie was gone, too.
We’ve All Become Karen
Minding your own business and taking care of your own behavior has become a thing if the past. Today, everyone is looking for someone else to break some sort of rule, make some cultural faux pas that can then be thrown up online to incite the public pileup.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - Online Romance!
We can get to know one another before deciding the desire to have sex is greater than the desire to avoid death.
The Cereal Wish | Part 5
I wake up lying flat out in the entry hall closet we never use because we are too lazy to open the door. I’m lying on boxes of Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios I had wished into being. There are even some extras to make a pillow for my head. Melted chocolate is streaming out of the boxes like cookie blood. I can hear Maggie snuffling at the doorway.
On Birthday 41 and the Things I’ve Learned
Some things don’t change. We are creatures of habit. But we’re also creatures of evolution, and while basking in the happiness that familiarity brings, we also find ourselves on our birthdays with a heart and a brain full of things learned. So, taking my inspiration from a Don Hall tradition of recounting those things leaned in the past year, here’s the short list of what my forty-first trip around the Sun has revealed to me.
![I Believe… [Smile. Nod. Ignore.]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1590284032472-L30M7BK7C2UZZH2CAKC5/IMG_0693.jpeg)
I Believe… [Smile. Nod. Ignore.]
…that I’m starting to adopt a “Smile and Nod and Ignore” more and more people clamoring for attention these days. “COVID was created by Obama!” Smile. Nod. Ignore. “All white people are oppressors.” Smile. Nod. Ignore. “I don’t have to wear a mask at CostCo. It’s a free country!” Smile. Nod. Walk Far Away. Ignore.
I’m happy staying at home alone but …
I miss walking over to a neighborhood bar and the bartender recognizes me because I am a regular and have been there lots of times before and they’re happy to see me and we chat a little and I get a drink because sometimes it’s fun to get a drink and talk and laugh…
The Cereal Wish | Part 4
As you have already learned, I am a quick thinker. Like, how I used my second wish to live inside of the classic sitcom Cheers. Yep. Everything is going to be smooth sailing from here on out.
It’s true that I’ll miss my girlfriend, Sarah, but as Dave Matthews said in a Facebook post in 2018, “What a great ending of a great tour!”
Norm walks over to me.
The Devastating Experiment in Televised Reality
As Marshall McLuhan famously stated “The message is the medium.” The medium today is the internet and the unfettered access for a fully democratized series of messages supported by a distribution model bolstered entirely by appealing to the lowest common denominator.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of May 17, 2020
Is there anything in the world cuter than a toddler parroting back to you, “Goddammit! Jesus…”? The answer is yes. That same toddler parroting back to you, “The fuck is your problem?”
The Cereal Wish | Part 3
“What can I do for you?” asked the funnel of incense as it materialized into a small-boned woman in a red Chanel suit.
The Heaviness and Lightness of Old Age
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Have A Productive Day!
Alcohol optional. I mean, optimal.
The Cereal Wish | Part 2
And there I was, twenty minutes later out trucking with Maggie four blocks away now from our place down Algren Street. It seemed to be nap time for the rest of the world while I took the much-needed air.
The Cereal Wish
Fast & Short is a flash fiction collaboration between eight Literate Ape writers. Each was tasked with authoring one piece of flash fiction that would be combined to create a single short story. The writers’ flash fiction needed to serve two purposes: 1) Stand alone as a unique piece of flash fiction and 2) Serve as a vehicle for building a larger story and driving that story forward. Here is that developing story.
How do you want to be defined? By one action? By some opinion that could evolve? By a mistake, regrettable only with hindsight? Or by the sum of your parts? Okay, do that for other people. Start the trend.