The Last Roll of the Dice Not Taken
There is that hope with feathers but my hope looks a bit like a scraggly chicken, one eye pecked out and a mangy rash on its neck, desperately foraging for seed amongst the rubble.
The Wonder of the New Year
I wonder how love will bloom this New Year’s Eve. I wonder what kind of chaos will ensnarl itself in this year’s revelries. The hours leading up to the countdown and those first few fleshy pink hours of 2023 are critical. Critical in our human minds, anyway—Time and Space cannot care. And I wonder which way those hours will go and for whom and what it will eventually mean.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 25, 2022
A poop before breakfast does not get enough celebratory attention.
The Best of Literate Ape 2022
Like the Blockbuster's of old or any hip bookstore, I think I'll go the route of the Staff Recommendations this year and serve up a list for you to read that reflects my personal favorites for 2022.
Santos Apologizes-ish
I promise to make neighborhoods safer, lower taxes, and give everyone a pony.
![I Believe... [Santa Brought a Job]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1655046941587-KXPPGO93QUQDR8X2YG3D/2E382AE5-1CE2-4891-A605-87FB8506427B.png)
I Believe... [Santa Brought a Job]
...that the best Christmas gift I got in 2022 was a freaking job that included PTO and benefits. Hell, I might even be able to save some cash that won’t be stolen by an ex-wife in 2023.
Unforging Marley's Chain: The Enduring Affect We Have on the Lives of Others
I don't see myself in Scrooge much—not wealthy or particularly skin-flinty with dough—and I'm not Republican in any way yet I'm finding a bit more appreciation for Bill Clinton-style centrism. For me, it's those fucking chains of Marley that give me pause.
Hey Joe!, Dear Don, …(and yeah, you too Vlad)
one idea that I had was to be in the spirit of Jesus (I know that Republicans say they like Jesus). And be like Bush. You know, George Bush used to have a saying, “I wonder what Jesus would do?" Me too. And I think that Jesus would try and love the fascists.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 18, 2022
Christmas always feels most magical when the man wearing an elf’s hat takes a leak in your CTA Blue Line car.
Santa's Gift
Ricky stood in the snow with one sneaker untied and his backpack hanging far too low on his back. His breath misted in the frigid December air. He shook, but not from the cold. His mother taught him to layer up, making it almost impossible to catch a chill.
No, his shivers were from fear. A fear he had every year. But this year was going to be different.
A Merry Christmas Punch/CounterPunch On the Sensitive Topic of One Mr. George Bailey, Part Two
I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. It’s just so hard to argue something I no longer believe. Don Hall is right. George Bailey is not a good person. He never took a single step outside of Bedford Falls. His family lives in a drafty old house that he used to throw rocks at. He has a kid named Zuzu. Zuzu—short for Pazuzu, the demon from The Exorcist… I just, I can’t.
F@#&! - It’s Christmas! Give Yourself the Gift of TSA Pre-Check In
For $80, the TSA will trust you to not blow up or hijack any commercial airplanes.
A Merry Christmas Punch/CounterPunch On the Sensitive Topic of One Mr. George Bailey, Part One
But did that room full of people really know George Bailey? Did they fully grasp his horrible failure as a human being before throwing down the money he lost?
Who was George Bailey and why do we in the Age of Cancel Culture want to see him escape his tragic fall?
![I Believe... [Trump Cards?]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1671330118067-Q5C7QCYJ5WDC9PV7F1L2/PNG+image.png)
I Believe... [Trump Cards?]
...that $99 is a steal for a Donald Trump Official Digital Trading Card but the very person who would appreciate it most can’t work his phone and is still using a 2005 Dell desktop.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 11, 2022
More of those JFK files have been released. Still, a lot of CIA info remains redacted. They don’t want us to know their practices, which is fair. National security and all that. But, they also don’t want us to know how they killed him.
The Final Stage of Grief
Sunday, May 11, 2014 was the day things changed. All of the inspirational phrases, carefully set in creative fonts, became pronouncements of love.
Senator Kyrsten Sinema Switches Species
Arizona deserves a representative that speaks for them and is gelatinous.
When You Can't Tell the Difference Between Snake Oil and Hair Tonic
We are now in the Golden Age of the Grift.
![I Believe... [Website Design is a Service]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1668960567066-5KXOJTYQF3A4KHGTGC2N/ibelieve9.PNG)
I Believe... [Website Design is a Service]
...that if the government can compel a website designer to provide the service for a gay wedding, it can likewise compel another website designer to provide the service for a Neo-Nazi wedding and, in my opinion, it should in both cases.
Miss Emma
If he didn’t know better, he could have imagined himself a prisoner in his own car.
...that intense and deep aren’t the same thing even if you’ve convinced yourself they are. Intense is momentary and fleeting; deep is the result of time and energy.