Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of November 26, 2023
Our formative years will always speak to us.
THANKSGIVING DAY HEADLINES
Gangs of Vigilante Drag Queens Vow to Make the Streets Fabulous
Finding Gratitude in a World That Only Wants Shame
"Well, Tim, I suppose that's your right to feel ashamed of yourself. It is not OK for you to decide that because you feel ashamed that everyone else has to feel it, too. Most of the class is thinking about what they are grateful for which isn't a terrible thing to do for one day a year."
Thanksgiving: It’s All About Football and Farts, Bro
But Thanksgiving morning—oof. That’s the best. Since I was in third grade, every Thanksgiving morning, my childhood friends and I play seven-on-seven football. It’s the best. We freeze our nuts off at Willow Stream Park and all pretend we’re the next Tom Brady. You know, the Jewish one. Some of us don’t give a shit about the game and smoke doobies on the sideline, while others get overly competitive and call plays like the Annexation of Puerto Rico. We come home with chapped lips, bruised elbows, muddy clothes, and churning stomachs. Turkey Bowl is the most fun I have every November. Not because of the game itself, though, but because I get to see friends who’ve moved to San Francisco, San Diego, New York, Seattle, and even Beijing. Our annual game is my real Thanksgiving celebration—and I’m thankful for it.
I Believe... [Warning: Strobe Lights and Personal Castigation Ahead]
...that, in the spirit of appropriate trigger warnings, can we have some that warn us that a comedy show will be more like a lecture on how awful white guys are?
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of Thanksgiving Edition
It’s funny, the things I care about now since becoming a father. It’s not the environment or my finances or my health — not any more than I did before Harrison arrived. It’s diaper changing stations in public restrooms. I see one of those in a men’s room and I am overwhelmed with joy. #FathersRights
Oh, shit. I think I used that Fathers’ Rights hashtag incorrectly.
American Shithole #35 — Happy Thanksgiving!
I sure would like to take December off and write about some stupid fucking British television show I absolutely love for a change.
From the Archives: Unpacking Branson: A Thanksgiving Improbability
For Thanksgiving in 2012, I was single and Mom decided that I should come out to my step-sister's place in Branson, Missouri for a good old-fashioned country Thanksgiving. The carrot was family. The stick was Missouri.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | The Second Thanksgiving
Squanto - White grubs have crawled into it. William - Those are marshmallows.
I Believe… [Beware The Golden Rule If You're An Asshole]
…that in the spirit of the Golden Rule, if you have decided it’s appropriate to harass people on the street or in front of their homes to make a political point, you deserve exactly the same treatment when taking your kids out to Chuck E. Cheese.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of November 11, 2018
This Thanksgiving, let’s remember that this year’s holiday falls on the 65th anniversary of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. So let’s be thankful that most of us won’t experience having our spouse’s skull and brains splattered all over our designer outfit while riding in a convertible. I bet Jackie even got some brain matter in her mouth. Gross. Pumpkin pie is so much better, I’m sure.
Notes from the Post-it Wall — An Uncle's Thanksgiving Edition
• With a holiday where near everyone is so obsessed with overeating for completely irrational reasons, it's refreshing to sit next to my nephew as he tries to weasel out of eating five more Skittles-size bites of turkey. I'm with you, kid. Enough is enough. Put the fork down, Fat America.
Unpacking Branson: A Thanksgiving Improbability
For Thanksgiving in 2012, I was single and Mom decided that I should come out to my step-sister's place in Branson, Missouri for a good old-fashioned country Thanksgiving. The carrot was family. The stick was Missouri.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting - Mrs. Reardon Meets with the Help about Thanksgiving
Thanks. Giving. Thanks - We are thankful for the opportunity to be together and eat food. Giving - I am giving up my free time to do so.
Black Friday is Way Scarier Than Halloween
When asked about the upcoming holiday, I get all tingly thinking about the roasted turkey, the creamy mashed potatoes, the gravy, the yams! But that’s not what others think about, anymore. They stuff themselves at noon and put their boots on and are waiting in stores for the Black Friday sales before their turkey has even reached their small intestine. Oh, but what about family time? Well, hell, bring the kids, send them out on their own little mission to find that marked-down item in the catalog! Don’t forget to put them in helmets and full body armor, the crowds get pretty rough.
Holiday Season
Halloween? Go nuts? Be a slutty nurse or a guy from TV for a night. Who cares? It's not The Purge. I'm staying inside and watching Charlie Brown.