Hope Idiotic | Part 19
The day after Lou moved to Chicago, Michelle pointed to a Tiffany’s magazine ad. It was for a princess-cut diamond ring.
“This is the ring I want,” she told him. “This would be perfect.”
He held onto that magazine ad. And when he brought it to Goldman Jewelers, the longtime Bergman family jeweler in Skokie, Lou told the man, “If you can design this, it would be perfect.”
The jeweler, who was only a few years older than Lou, took a look at it. His name was Art Goldman. He was the fourth generation working in the business of making girls squeal with delight when they received their blood diamonds. Getting the Goldman Jewelers business card was a rite of passage. Pop gave it to him. It was yellowed and dog-eared.
Daylight Saving Time
I ask you — or anybody—
Why does it have to take 10 to make 1?
And even more puzzling —
Why bother?
Problematic Movies of the '80s | "Amazon Women on the Moon" (1987)
To be frank, I don’t remember much about this movie with the exception that I remember thinking it was hysterical. I vaguely recall some racial humor and David Allen Grier as a black guy who sings like a white guy. I’m pretty sure there’s gratuitous boobs and, going into this one, I’d bet a hefty sum that it has a laundry list of problematic elements.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 27, 2019
When someone knows they’re wrong but can’t admit it or is unwilling to take the steps necessary to right that wrong due to pride or self-preservation, they panic. Then they lash out. And they become more and more wrong through their actions and words. That’s what’s happening with the Republican Party and most marriages right now.
Bagel Shop
My father was older than his age, hardened with experience that he wore
on his sagging cheeks. It had been a long time since his mood lightened up.
Hope Idiotic | Part 18
What Chuck’s repo man would do then is go to the house and wait in the street for Chuck to return. The first time Chuck saw the tow truck as he turned onto the street, he hit the brakes, slammed it into reverse and hightailed it to Lexi’s. He returned at 5 a.m. and, thankfully, the truck was gone. He knew this would be the new norm, so he devised a plan. He would disconnect the garage-door sensors that caused the door to lift back up when an object was in the way. He would press the garage-door remote in his car as he neared the house. Once the door was lifted, he would press the remote again to close the door. Then he’d gun it and whip the car past the repo-man’s tow truck, up the driveway and into the garage with no time to spare and no margin for error. As long as he ignored the phone calls, the doorbell and the knocking on the windows and the front door, he’d be good to go. A closed garage door meant he was safe.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting Dresses Up as Literate Ape for Halloween
There was blood everywhere because, even though I am a vampire, I am a klutz.
Chris Churchill Saves the World | Green
Green is the color.
I’ve got no use for yellow most days. And, to be honest, orange generally repels me. I’ll walk away from a carrot unconsciously.
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I Believe… [Political Misspelling is Dumb]
…that when I see you spell women “womxn “ and folks “folx” and white “yt,” wyte,” or “vvhite” your overwhelming virtue signaling blares so loudly that I simply can’t hear you for the noise. You’re only communicating to your trybe.
Hope Idiotic | Part 17
Lou realized that his joke wasn’t a joke at all. Not in a shrink’s office. “No, no. I’m sorry. I was being funny. Really, I’ve never thought about it. I mean, not any more than anyone else has ever thought about it. Just like, when you hear about someone doing it, you wonder about what the last thing to go through their mind was. And not the bullet, like if the person shot himself or anything. No. I’m not suicidal.”
I Like to Watch | Winnebago Man
Fame is its own aphrodisiac. With the internet, fame is much easier to attain which makes its acquisition of far less value. When anyone can become notoriously known by putting up a video of them doing something stupid and perhaps painful, the bar is set for fewer and fewer influencers to have any real influence.
Problematic Movies of the 80s | Stripes (1981)
Oh man. Stripes is a relative stew of problematic elements, simmering without malice but just as tasty when the ingredients are sussed out.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 20, 2019
I am convinced that my greatest failure is that I have far too many interests.
Wild One
They entered the open-brick condo eager to rip each other’s clothes off. Maria rubbed the front of Eric’s kakis, while he slid his fingers up her red bubble skirt. He tore her white blouse and sucked from her shoulders down to her fingertips. Maria unbelted Eric’s pants and chucked the leather across the room.
Hope Idiotic | Part 16
Later that week, Lou started therapy. He’d gone to a psychologist before when he was in sixth grade. He was misbehaving in school, collecting an average of one detention a day from one teacher or another. He even managed to get a detention while in detention. His parents were convinced his behavioral problems stemmed from some sort of internal conflict. They had mistaken internal conflict as being a twelve-year-old class clown.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Lynching Lite
Are you telling me white people aren’t allowed to be lynched? That’s racist!
The Case Against Joe Biden
With the House formally going forward with impeachment, the premise of Joe Biden’s whole campaign is obsolete. He and his campaign claimed he was the most electable and the best candidate to beat Donald Trump – patently not true anymore.
![I Believe... [Insurance is Only an Entry Fee]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1571238320746-Z8KEW03X7SWWY5FFC60S/chimpballs.jpg)
I Believe... [Insurance is Only an Entry Fee]
…that insurance is no more than the membership fee for entering a doctor’s office. It is not actually insurance against catastrophe but a payment to be allowed in the room.
Hope Idiotic | Part 15
Chuck was going to write. He was going to edit the magazine. He was going to be productive. But he miscalculated the balance of booze and pills and his ability to work, so he instead ended up getting plowed, destroyed the motel room and slept on the beach with his head inside the empty beer case to protect his glasses.
The Destructiveness of Deprivation and Want
In 1974, I used to troll around my Arizona neighborhood and beat up Cub Scouts regularly.
How do you want to be defined? By one action? By some opinion that could evolve? By a mistake, regrettable only with hindsight? Or by the sum of your parts? Okay, do that for other people. Start the trend.