Adventures from the Orlando International Airport
If what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas (it doesn’t) then what happens in Orlando haunts you for months.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 16, 2023
My happy place is a funeral. Puts things in perspective. At least I don’t have to dig a big hole in the rain.
Give THAT Guy a Gun!
Let’s give that guy a weapon designed to kill another human being. Great fucking idea.
The Quiet Part Out Loud
Writers? I could write that.
![I Believe... [Elon Kaufman]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1681759866444-FLQ207NIBAOGAI6DQYP9/IMG_1722.JPG)
I Believe... [Elon Kaufman]
...that Elon Musk is the bastard son of Andy Kaufman and wreaks havoc as a continuation of his father’s legacy.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 9, 2023
Justice Clarence Thomas is exactly the guy today he was in 1991. An angry, entitled, hateful prick with little regard for rules that impact him.
An Open Letter About Ethics from Brett Kavanaugh
We sat in his jacuzzi and drank PBR out of Hitler’s boot.
Delicious Ambiguity
Eventually, I rub everyone the wrong way.
![I Believe... [Adulting]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1681045228326-ZTR3A028R18E5VEDFOHD/IMG_1272.JPG)
I Believe... [Adulting]
...that the challenge of being a single adult is that there is no one around to say “Honey? Maybe that brick of cheese and craft beer could wait until tomorrow.”
An Unrelentingly Depressing Poem
Her home became a grave
she shared with her memories and regrets.
Resisting the Forces of the River is the Only Choice
When I was a child, I had a recurring dream.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of April 2, 2023
Listening to the news in the car with my five-year-old son. They’re talking about Donald Tump’s indictment. Harry asks me about Trump. “Why is he a bad dude and what did he do as president?” I give him the headlines. He stops me midway through. “Dad, when you’re done telling me about Donald Trump, can you never talk about him again? Because he’s bad and I don’t want to talk about him anymore.” Well said, kid. Well said.
Trump Unable to Do Community Service Due to Bone Spurs
He is fine with the toilet being next to his bed and wonders why he didn’t think of that.
Bullies Are a Crucial Part of Our Development
Bullies are not only the obstacles that force us to live with that duality, they are necessary.
![I Believe... [Pistols & Wands]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1680447402782-COAIF6RFMZY0D4I9ZYJM/IMG_2287.JPG)
I Believe... [Pistols & Wands]
I believe... that the twin consumer responses to John Wick Chapter 4 and the Hogwart’s Legacy video game seems to indicate that the plurality of Americans love guns and shrivelfigs.
My Dead Dog Tried SLUGGING and YOU WON’T BELIEVE the RESULTS
So for people who don’t know, slugging is where you moisturize like normal BUT THEN add a layer of petroleum jelly and leave on overnight
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of March 26, 2023
Why does the media keep referring to Stormy Daniels as “porn star” or “adult film actress Stormy Daniels?” We know. And her job has nothing to do with the charges against Trump. It feels shameful. And it’s strange. Perverted, even. Anything to make a story more salacious. It’s also embarrassing.
In Praise of Sensitivity Readers
The discourse of the sensitivity readers ultimately leads to an erasure of that history so that two generations from now, no one will even know how horrible writers, politicians, and scientists could be.
GOP To End School Shootings
America, we have a solution. Time to eliminate education.
I'm No More Anti-Woke Than I am Anti-Christian
If I don't believe in the thing you believe in, I'm not against it.
How do you want to be defined? By one action? By some opinion that could evolve? By a mistake, regrettable only with hindsight? Or by the sum of your parts? Okay, do that for other people. Start the trend.