Man Fights For Right to Marry Fictional Character
I’m open to different species, too. A big slug-like Hutt would be really interesting.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of January 2, 2022
The season one, second episode of The Book of Boba Fett should have been called, “Dances with Sand People.”
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of August 23, 2020
If the police want us to stop claiming they are untrustworthy petulant children, they need to stop acting like untrustworthy petulant children.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | It’s a Date! I Think. Maybe.
He sees a Luke Skywalker figurine on the shelf behind him and he moves it to the floor.
A New Decade Resolution: Don’t End Up Like the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
As we begin this new year and new decade, most of us are going to be in the midst of taking stock of our lives thus far and the year/decade that just was. And though life can never be a perfectly packaged film, we can make plans to live the next decade with some sort of clarity and purpose. Making plans of this nature is the default human setting unless you’re a sociopath, a nihilist, or Kathleen Kennedy.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 22, 2019
• The worst thing about the 2010s decade was the Star Wars sequels.
• The second worst thing about the 2010s decade is the rise of obtuse American division.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of December 15, 2019
My excitement to see Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker is equal to my excitement to see any movie in the theater. Seeing movies in the theater is the only time I drink Cherry Coke, and I’m excited to drink a Cherry Coke.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Writing The Star Wars Is Easy!
J.J. – Okay, everyone, The Last Jedi is about to open. Time to break the story for the next and last film in the trilogy.
Derek – Shouldn’t we see the film first and see what Rian Johnson did?
J.J. – Sitting at this table are the hottest white male middle-aged Hollywood writers who brought the world Justice League, Batman v Superman, the Jurassic Park reboots… We can do whatever we want. If it contradicts anything Rian did, we can fix it by saying Kylo was lying because of the Dark Side. Or time travel. I like time travel a lot. Great way to fix things.
Holiday Gift Guide: The Best Baby Yoda Stuff for Your Favorite Star Wars Fan
You: I’m trying to find the perfect gift for my Star Wars-obsessed friend/sibling/lover. I don’t know, I guess maybe they’d like a custom lightsaber or something?
Me, an intellectual: Baby Yoda.
The Minutes of Our Last Meeting | Maclunkey Wars!
George – Instead of freezing Han in carbonite, I want to put him in a refrigerator.
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of June 2, 2019
Does Elmo go to school? Because I wouldn’t mind seeing that little red monster take a bullet in a school shooting.
Top 5 Scariest Films for Halloween
I’ve never been a fan of haunted houses. I spook too easily, I guess. I’m not the guy they want walking through their halls anyhow. In past houses I’ve committed all offenses in reaction to being spooked: punched a worker square in the nose; stomped to death some kind of mechanical tentacle protruding from the floorboards; grabbed a psychotic clown by his wig and headbutted him in the teeth; made my wife go first.
Around this time of year, I’m a bigger fan of staying in where the people around me are safe. But I still enjoy giving myself the heebie-jeebies. That’s why I’m offering you, dear reader, my pick of the Top 5 Scariest Films you should watch this Halloween.
Shutter
Gravity
The Force Awakens
Superman III
Mannequin
Notes from the Post-it Wall | Week of October 7, 2018
The only thing stranger than Kanye West’s meeting with President Trump in the Oval Office is that one time Sammy Davis Jr. blew President Nixon in the Lincoln Bedroom.
American Shithole #29 | End of Act II (The Empire Struck Back)
It is quite possible now, that McConnell and the republican Senate, Ryan and the republican House, the President, his entire administration — all of them — all of them are going to get away with everything. If so, in the immortal words of C-3PO, “We’re doomed.”
Welcome to the end of Act II, America.
Notes from the Post-it Wall — Week of August 12, 2018
Most of my college friends have kids starting school this week. First graders, fifth graders, kindergartners… Seeing their First Day of School photos is just a reminder that most of my college friends were having sex way before I was.
Star Wars Probably Taught You Some Dumb, Wrong Shit
Seriously, look at Anakin and tell me the whole fucking galaxy wouldn’t be a lot different if anyone had ever bothered to teach him some basic coping skills. How do you healthily process grief? Not by murdering a shitload of Sand People.
![I Believe… [Age is Just a Number That Means You're Old]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/579fa3912994ca0eff850271/1517972232036-U7UR7YGBEVXOWJLLU6MS/ibelieve....jpg)
I Believe… [Age is Just a Number That Means You're Old]
…that when you say "Age is just a number" my feet and lower back wanna sock you repeatedly in the junk until you acknowledge that age is decay and decay is the ever approaching sound of mortality. Maybe lose the "just." "Age is a number" is more true and less damning of the fact I'm wearing bifocals.
Would Luke Skywalker Vote Republican?
Would Luke Skywalker or Superman or Rambo ever vote for a Republican?
Star Wars: The Last Jedi — Ripped From the Gen X Nostalgia Train
This is a Star Wars rooted in the idea that we of Gen X failed to beat the Empire. That our delusion of ourselves is not reflected in our feelings of exceptionalism. Rey and Kylo Rea and Poe and Finn are the Millennials we failed and it is now their story, their fight, their destiny.
The Revolution Will Be Won on a Series of Screens
“It would not be impossible to prove with sufficient repetition and a psychological understanding of the people concerned that a square is in fact a circle. They are mere words, and words can be molded until they clothe ideas and disguise.” ― Joseph Goebbels
Christmas is a time for giving, being with family and friends, and hating every other asshole out there in the shops and on the roads also trying to spread joy and share in the Christmas spirit. Similarly, Hanukkah is a time for Jewish people to desperately try to feel relevant during Christmastime.