Can't Take My Eyes Offa Joe Janes
Joe is in Scotland which is why there has been an interruption of his regular column.
A Message of Hope Before We All Die
We’re screwed-ish.
See! I Told You! – Donald Trump, Jr Speaks Out About Hunter Biden
Put Biden and his family behind bars and my family and I will celebrate in bars.
Are We All ADHD Or Is It Just The World?
Can we just put RuPaul in charge of everything?
News for YOU Headlines
The World Is Burning, Stock Up On Booze
THE TRUMP BAROMETER - Measuring the GOP Presidential Candidates
I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot a baby and wouldn’t lose any of my supporters.
Florida to Ban the Printed Word
This announcement will only be on TV and radio, right?
America, You Look Pretty Tonight by Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy
You’re the one making me do this. I love you.
Predictions About Trump’s CNN Town Hall
The only sponsors will be MyPillow, Reverse Mortgages, and Bud Light.
Tucker Carlson Testicle Tanning Salons
There’s a masculinity crisis in this country and I’m going balls-to-the-toasty-wall for men everywhere.
The Quiet Part Out Loud
Writers? I could write that.
An Open Letter About Ethics from Brett Kavanaugh
We sat in his jacuzzi and drank PBR out of Hitler’s boot.
Trump Unable to Do Community Service Due to Bone Spurs
He is fine with the toilet being next to his bed and wonders why he didn’t think of that.
GOP To End School Shootings
America, we have a solution. Time to eliminate education.
The Life's Not Fair Fair!
Guess your weight or age? Nope. We’re just going call you fat and old.
Republica-dabra! The Great DeSantis!
I have outlawed The Magic Kingdom. By law, they are now The Straight Kingdom in DeSantisland.
Actually, Let Me Explain International Women’s Day
Women already dominate all the holidays that involve buying something other than fireworks.
Hogwarts Public School of Witchcraft and Sorcery – St. Louis
You will receive mentorship from experienced underpaid faculty and unqualified substitute teachers who will herd you in your journey.
AI Generated Minutes
God is dead.
Scientists Confirm Assholes Go Out Of Their Way To Make Your Life Miserable
Whether being cut off in traffic or denied trans healthcare by a state governor, scientists have concluded that, yes, indeed, assholes will go out of their way to make sure your life is miserable.
Christmas is a time for giving, being with family and friends, and hating every other asshole out there in the shops and on the roads also trying to spread joy and share in the Christmas spirit. Similarly, Hanukkah is a time for Jewish people to desperately try to feel relevant during Christmastime.