...that, if the goal was to destroy a Van Gogh, the children failed. If it was gain attention for themselves and their stated cause, they knocked it out of the park. Effective protest is effective theater.

...that the Chicago Sun-Times announcing that they’re giviong away their articles for free and sans paywall is sort of like Shasta Cola announcing free soda for anyone interested in C-level drinks.

...that if we can redirect the course of an asteroid by hitting it with a spaceship the size of a Volkswagen—7 million miles away—it doesn’t seem a stretch to put Donald in the clink or surgically sew up Marjorie Taylor Greene’s gaping hole. I don’t dream big but I dream.

...that, while I finally got COVID, it was far less awful than the amazing “Hey! Kansas has pollen and rain” head cold I endured after. I attribute these to the vaccine and the midwest.

...that the probability is overwhelming that if we had belonged to the generations we despise on moral grounds, we too would have behaved like moral troglodytes. The next generation will see this one through the same historically self righteous lens as well and it will not fare well.

...that, speaking of colonizers, I’d have to say I’m basically in favor of the endeavor. Without the successful colonizers (because every single ethnicity has attempted colonizing their neighbors) no one in America would have the opportunity to get a meaningless degree in Post-Modern Politic Theory or Gender Studies while making Tik Toks on their pocket-sized super computers in their air-conditioned homes with running water.

...that if you are really pissed about capitalism as a system yet are reading this online on a computer or smartphone requiring WiFi, you’re a full of shit. That goes for anyone “protesting” capitalism on Twitter or Tik Tok.

...that assigning cultural importance to She-Hulk: Attorney at Law is ridiculous. It’s a television show about a fictional character based on a comic book. Reading heavy feminist agenda into it is like trying to find white supremacy in the requirement to be on time at work.

...that yelling over someone because you either want to make your point or because you want to shout down someone else trying to make a point is the behavior of the kind of kid I want to beat in public.

...that progress is not a sprint. It isn’t a marathon. It’s a tug of war and it is gained in inches.

...that your trauma doesn’t make a good excuse for your poor behavior. No trauma in existence requires you behave like a screaming child yet enduring an adult screaming like a child can be traumatic. Like a Mobius strip of trauma.

I believe... that with the state of society in 2022, a moratorium on high school dramas is in order. I get all the bitchy, judgmental bullying I need in line at the grocery store.

...that all the Toy Story movies are actually about divorce.

...that, admittedly, Independence Day this year feels a bit like throwing a party for friend in a coma from an awful car accident who has no health insurance. “I’m sorry, sir. You can’t shoot that bottle rocket off in here. This is the ICU.”